Lianne's World

It never gets any easier!

I am in the process of finding a new personal assistant to join my team and we're having an informal interview later this afternoon. I'm not sure that I will ever get used to employing new personal assistants. It never seems to get any easier to deal with. The scary part is knowing that I can't function without them; that I can't physically take care of myself anymore. There is no reasoning with my body; my situation is permanent and there's nothing I can do about it. I guess it's just the fear of the unknown. Life is full of changes, some you have no control over. How I choose to deal with things will determine how much I can get back in control of my life again.

What new rights?!

So much for our newly established rights under the Disability Discrimination Act (DDA: 1995)! Since October 2004, service providers are supposed to make reasonable adjustments to the physical features of their premises to overcome physical barriers to access. However, after reading the new regulations in more depth, I have discovered that services are not actually required to provide physically accessible environments for disabled people unless there is no practical alternative! So far as access to goods and services is concerned, access is to the goods and services rather than to the building from which these services are normally provided. In which case, the law doesn't really help me at all. In my experience, it is the physical environment that prevents me from accessing goods and services - that's why I thought the new law was introduced! I just want to be treated in the same way as everyone else and I feel that this law only serves to reinforce existing social barriers.

What about the person on the inside?

I wish we lived in a world where people are recognised for who they are inside more than what they look like. The pressures of this image-driven world make it even tougher for people like me to feel good about their bodies. I have had a tough time learning to accept my disability and dealing with the impact it has had on my confidence and self-esteem. I happen to think that the most attractive thing about a person is that no matter what they have had to cope with, at the end of it all, they are still smiling and are out there living their lives the best they can. I just wish everyone could see it that way.

What is the day centre?

Recently, I was out with my PA. We were parked up and I was about to get out of my vehicle, when an older lady came over to talk to my PA. She asked my PA where she was working now, to which she replied, with Lianne Crowe. "Oh yes...", she knew who I was as she had read about me in the paper. At this point, I was still sitting in my vehicle and she couldn't see me because of the blacked out rear windows. She then proceeded to ask, "Is she at the day centre?", to which my PA replied, "No, she's in the back of the vehicle; we're actually going shopping". Although I found this really amusing, I still thought to myself, are some people really that ignorant? And what exactly is the day centre? Is it where you are presumed to go if you are disabled? I do actually attend a monthly physio club and I enjoy it. However, it annoys me when some people can't see past my disability. I am not just 'Lianne Crowe, the paralysed woman'. I know I probably sound over-sensitive but it is hard to challenge and overcome the negative stereotypes associated with disability. General ignorance has affected my self-image and the way I think others perceive me.

I'm not ill!

Yes, I have a spinal injury but I am perfectly healthy. Infact, I have not suffered any real illnesses over the past two years. I look after myself as I know that I have a higher risk of getting a chest or urine infection, or a pressure sore. However, despite these risks, I am not ill! There is a local woman who really bugs me when she always asks if I'm feeling any better and treats me like I have an illness! I find her really patronising. I know she is only trying to be kind and I must sound really ungrateful. I just wish she would see that disability is not an illness!